It seems that during my absence from blogging, something tragic happened. Camels & Elephants fell off the Googles. While it would be easy to blame Fadilicious and Al Waris for their lack of posting, I put the blame squarely on my own shoulders for going on vacation and neglecting you fans.
Because of its seemingly fickle nature, I am proposing a Google boycott. Feel free to switch your search preference to HotBot, AltaVista, AskJeeves or Excite, provided they still exist.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Sad News
Friday, March 28, 2008
Hello again. I've missed you
Hello, loyal Mazerino fans. Did you miss me? I'm back from San Fran and the slopes of Heavenly at Tahoe. I had a fantastic time and even checked in periodically from swpski's iPhone. I've got some pics, videos and stories to post in the next couple of days. There will be no mashup today because I haven't put much thought into it. Sorry. I am still technically on vacation and that covers blogging too.
Me geared up in Tahoe:
Me and Dr. BJ proving you can't go to San Francisco without getting a little gay:
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
It's hard...
In Mazerino's absence we have been having a hard time blogging. So, please feel free to help us fill the gap by sending us your guest blogs. In the meantime, below is my horoscope for today as per yahoo.com
Virgo (8/23-9/22)
"Try to push things to the next level today, especially in terms of academics or general knowledge. You need to feed your intellectually curious side with healthy ideas and debate -- not junk thinking. Toss away the gossip magazines and check out a challenging book on a period in history or an important person who interests you. Look up words you encounter that you don't know the definition of. Get more proactive when it comes to learning. Think of your mind as a muscle: It takes effort to stay so smart."So on my weekly pilgrimage to the gym I happened to watch Bill O (most entertaining person on cable news) and he taught me a new word.
Disputatious
I'm going to find out what this means and try to use it in conversation this week. I have to exercise the muscle, although it has not taken too much effort to stay smart thus far. Maybe I just feel smarter around the company I keep ;-)
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Holly Week
After much debate and many considerations, I have decided to rise above all criticism and give my readers the feast their mind deserves viz my posts.
Holly, you really made my day, my week and the week of the tons of people who supported me in this campaign. The signs you have posted were capital! No wonder this week is named after you .
I want to thank lovely Heather, sweet Trixyone, hairy BigChiken, cool and brown Anil and cooler and browner Ameed for their staunch support, and of course Al-Waris for launching the campaign. I am back and I will write about any subject I see fit ; of which I am myself a better judge than any pitiful critic whatever. Dr. BJ & Co. can all go on a hike. 
Art has triumphed!
Reader of the week
Fadilicious was the prime contender for ROTW because he has been doing nothing other than reading the blog the past couple of weeks. However, he was disqualified since he is a partner(sleeping thus far) in the blog.
This has been an action-packed week for us mainly arising out of the "Save the Fadilicious" campaign. Reader participation has been over-whelming, so much that we had to hire people to sort through the mail. As Mazerino had earlier mentioned , you are all winners in our book (blog??).
However, the award must be given. There are some strong contenders, Saiko has researched various possible interpretations of ROTW, Holly has been leading the "Save the Fadilicious" campaign in print, Heather and Trixyone have threatened to leave. On the other hand, Dr. BJ has assumed the mantle of "voice of the non-elephants and non-camels", and has attracted other followers.
After much deliberation the award is being given to Berg, for participating vigorously and commenting furiously. Even though no one seems to care for his opinion, we do (not too much though). As a reward to the underdog, Berg , you are our Reader of the week.
PS: Mazerino your MS Paint skills are sorely missed!!
Friday, March 21, 2008
Friday "Things I Like" Mashup: Politics and Places I'm Going Tomorrow Edition
Tahoe-bama!
Yes, Mazerino fans, I will be out of town learning to ski next week, but fear not. I leave you in the capable hands of Al Waris and Fadilicious (I think). And if they don't float your boat, you can submit your own guest column. I'll have my camera so hopefully bloggable things will happen. Please don't rob me while I'm gone.
By the way, pat yourselves on the back. We've set a new C&E comment record (12 at publish time) in the Great Fadilicious Debate. You're all readers of the week in my book. Keep 'em coming.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Daderino Internet Update
While we sort through this messy Fadilicious turmoil, I thought I'd lighten the mood by updating you on daderino's Internet progress. He now has his own email address (if you care to wish him well in his new pursuit send us an email and we'll make sure to forward it along). And he's getting better at searching for news and sports (i.e. he googled "Tiger Woods"). His immediate next step is to learn how to use the mouse by playing solitaire, and his work has ordered him video professor (that creepy old guy from the commercials).
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Scandal rocks C&E
Some of you may have noticed that one our camels has not been participating actively in our endeavor. While you may think it’s because corporate America is holding a knife over his head people who know him know that’s not the case.
He is actually enduring the barbs and brickbats from other camels and random readers who criticize without understanding.
To me a blog is an expression of oneself, and those who criticize should take care of the log in their own eyes (yes, that’s from Matthew). People should appreciate diversity of styles--so what if it makes them think (sometimes a little too much to be fair)
So as I initiate the "Save the Fadilicious" campaign, I urge all of you to write back coaxing him out of his retirement. Also, if you happen to see him in person, give him a hug. I feel he needs it.
PS-This photo was produced by one of his critics who still found it in his heart to contribute to the campaign.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Who wants #1 when you can have #7!
In the gazelle-paced rat race that we call life, there is an overemphasis on being # 1.
As usual we try to do things a little different here at C & E. After crossing numerous hurdles with your love and support we have achieved the unthinkable. Almost exactly one month since we decided to enter the cyber-world we have done it.
We are # 7 when you type camels and elephants in the google search bar. Try it.
Don't overdo it though, we don't want to be #6 yet!!
**Update: There are unconfirmed reports that we are #5 on Google India. Yay!
Monday, March 17, 2008
Scandal-waris
In the wake of the Eliot Spitzer sex scandal, rumors have been flying around C&E headquarters as to the true identity of his mistress, Ashley Dupre. C&E's Al Waris bears an eerie resemblance to Ashley (we could barely tell them apart ourselves), but we'd like to put all the talk to rest right now. Despite their similar markings (see photo), Al absolutely did not engage in any activities with the former governor from New York.
C&E High-def closeup**:
**That is a real tattoo on Al.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Reader of the Week: Daderino
This week's reader of the week was a no-brainer. It goes to my dad for finally learning how to use the computer. I understand that he just started typing the C&E URL into his browser so he should be here within the next 3-4 hours (days?) to claim his prize. Apologies to SaiKo, Jane and HP Laserjet. Keep up the good work in the comments, and your number will be called.
Artist's rendition:
Congrats, daderino.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Friday "Things I Like" Mashup: Politics and Video Game Edition
Considering these are the two things I talk about the most (apart from Jamba Juice), you had to know it was coming:
Guitar Hero-bama.
**Unrelated item: Happy Birthday to my little sister, Lanarino
Countdown to freedom
My long trek is about to end. Its been an arduous 36 months, but I can see the light. In 11 weeks I will be graduating.
Its been like a really long pregnancy. "How dare you compare anything to pregnancy?", you might ask. But in my defense, all the symptoms were there.
Morning sickness- Try going to school on a Saturday morning after a night of meaningless drinking.
Mood swings- Ask people who interacted with (a normally docile) me when an assignment was due in 20 minutes
Pain- Well, OK there was no physical pain.
But 2 of 3 ain't bad.
So I want to invite our readers to participate in this final leg of my journey. Come out and cheer for me. Offer me water as I sweat my way to the finish line. Hold up encouraging posters. Wish me well.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Daderino checks out the Googles
My dad is learning how to use a computer for work. Today he had his first lesson, and feeling ambitious he sent me the following message over Google Talk:
[From momerino's account]:
this is dad learning computer
this is dad learning computer
iam mentaly slow
Unfortunately, I was not at my computer to receive it, but I wish you could have heard the excitement in his voice when he later asked me, "did you get my email? It takes me half an hour to type my name." I didn't have the heart to break it to him that he actually sent me an instant message. Welcome to the Internets, dad.
Unfortunately, I was not at my computer to receive it, but I wish you could have heard the excitement in his voice when he later asked me, "did you get my email? It takes me half an hour to type my name." I didn't have the heart to break it to him that he actually sent me an instant message. Welcome to the Internets, dad.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Just another underpants Sunday
Sunday, I officially hit a new low. Longtime fans of the blog know of my affinity for Guitar Hero. While I've mastered the Easy and Medium modes, I've only dabbled in Hard and Expert because they require you to use 4 fingers across 5 buttons (see right). So, I picked up my axe, Les Tall Paul, and decided to play "Slow Ride" by Foghat on Hard. As expected, I was booed of the stage due to my high level of suckitude. No big deal.
Here's where things go South. Instead of retreating back to Medium or turning off my TV and going outside perhaps to enjoy a delicious fruit smoothie with a regulating Fiber Boost at Jamba Juice, I did something I promised myself I never would. I tried to play the song on practice mode at half speed. Why is this so terrible? Even if I were to waste a week or two practicing at half-speed to somehow master Hard and then Expert, I'd just get too good to play against my friends. And then I'd be sitting at home playing Guitar Hero alone.
In addition to my aforementioned moment of weakness, I watched a Rock of Love 2 marathon and did not put on pants all day. What the hell do people do for fun on a Sunday when it's freezing outside? Please let me know in the comments.
PS: Normally, I would have played GH against my buddy Tim, but in his words "my computer is running placement simulations so i can't play with someone else"
Sunday, March 9, 2008
The better sex
As a blog run by 3 men we appreciate our female readers (as evidence by our ROTW selection) and despite pressures from our more crass readers we have endeavored to provide fare that is wholesome for both sexes.
On the occasion of International Women’s day we would like to holler at all the women who have played an integral part in our lives. This includes those who brought us here and those whom we’ve met along the way. If it were up to us every day would be International Women’s day. (Did I hear an “Awwww”?)
*Smoking is injurious to your health
PS: Special prize for anyone who can tell us what a female elephant or a female camel is called.
PPS: We're still voting Obama (Those of us who have a vote).
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Reader of the Week
At C&E, we value our readers' opinions and to show our appreciation for you, the fans, we have decided to create a weekly Reader of the Week contest. We have spent some time deliberating the nominees and the top 3 contenders were, in no particular order
1) trixyone- For her relentless comments that are keeping us on our toes
2) Dr.Brian- Whose email comments are both informative and enriching
3) SaiKo- For writing our first guest blog and introducing us to pearface
Drum roll!
And the award goes to...
trixyone
Congratulations, trixyone! Your $5 off coupon to Ponderosa is in the mail.
Artist's rendition of acceptance speech:
Friday, March 7, 2008
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Fruitful Friday (I stand corrected)
In case you were wondering, we do receive comments and we read each one carefully. Here at C&E we also like to accept our mistakes. In that spirit, we would like to graciously thank one of our regular readers, the soon-to-be Dr. Brian, for bringing a glaring error to our notice. As a medical doctor he is well versed in camels, elephants and other human beings. So thank you, Dr. Brian. Please read his correction below:
"From: Dr. Brian
To:C&E's Al Waris
Re: Fruitful Friday
Tell al-waris his friends link to a picture of two camels is incorrect - those are Bactrian camels which live in Mongolia. he should have linked to Dromedary camels which are the ones they have in the middle east. For Christ's sake take some pride, that would be like you having a link to an African elephant for al."
So as to prove that I have learned my lesson, I will link myself to an African elephant.
--Al-waris
Guest Column: SaiKo Edition
Here at C&E, we tend to be a bit lazy.
We'll take days off from posting, and when we do post, our general philosophy is to fling shit at the wall and hope some of it sticks. It is in that spirit that we are now accepting guest columns. Feel free to submit your own post to camelsandelephants[at] gmail[dot]com and we may run it. Here is our first one:
Is My Friend a Douche of the Week Nominee?
This is an age-old question facing the male community: When is it okay to make a move on a girl your buddy is interested in?
Obviously circumstances play a big role in defining the outcome but let me give you an example. A good friend of mine met a very cute girl while she was working and invited her out to hang out with us. He is a very slow mover and was still mustering up the courage to ask her out. Another friend of ours (lets call him pearface) decided to jump into the fray unsolicited. In the end they both ended up driving her away. So was this a 'douche (of the week)' move or was she fair game?
I would like to hear your thoughts. Sound off in the comments...
-SaiKo
More Cricket Tamasha
Al, thanks for that Indian sports update:
It was most informative, especially to our readers in the flyover states (Hi Mom in Ohio!), but I do take issue with that picture. It's clearly a forgery, and I have the original to prove it:
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Cricket Tamasha
Was that a great game or was that a great game?!
The best moment was when Harbhajan (Bhajji) snapped Symonds’s (Ahole) wicket putting a break on the Aussies’ hope of getting to watch Gilchrist bat again (Bye bye Gilli). After the turmoil of the summer down under when Bhajji almost got kicked off the tour for calling Ahole a monkey (for charges of racism) it was just rewards for the tiny Sardar. Mind you, Bhajji was booed by the rowdy Aussie crowds every move he made, but he is from the Punjab and made from thicker atta than you can imagine. Symonds almost got hugged by a male streaker, but managed to rugby tackle him onto the ground.
But before that drama was the operatic performance of the world’s greatest from Amchi Mumbai. Sachin Sachin Sachin! This dude is too good man. He kicked the butts of the Aussies from Sydney to Thiruvanathapuram. I stayed awake beyond 2 AM just to watch this guy make the Aussies eat their own soil.
I also wish to say a few words about Dhoni. He may be a good captain but he is a little arrogant. I mean, who in their right mind drops Ganguly (Dada) and Dravid.
But all’s well that ends well. We are now CB series champions and now we are worthy opponents to the Aussies. The tragedies of the World Cup are truly behind us.
Its sad that arch rivals Pakistan have not yet picked themselves up from the disappointment in the Caribbean. Their top cricketers have let themselves go. See Shoaib on the right.
Here’s wishing the Pakistanis come back to form so Dhoni and his boys can whip them once more.
Stay tuned for a weekly Cricket Tamasha update!
What's in my name?
The short answer is a short "a." Feel free to stop reading now if you'd like as there are no pictures in this post to look forward to.
Today, I went to Noodles & Co for lunch (sponsor us please!). It's one of those places where you order and give them your name. Then they try their best not to butcher it when your food is ready. So, I gave them my real name, "Mazen," and waited to see what variation would come back. Usually, I get MAY-zen or MAH-zen and the occasional Megan because my G's sound like Z's. Today it was MAH-zeen (like magazine without the "ag") and the guy asked me, "Did I get it right?" I corrected him and he promised to get it right next time. I've decided to hold him to it. So, I'm creating this post for Noodles & Co Food Distributor and his peers at Starbucks* and Jamba Juice:
My name is pronounced Mazen with an "a" like the first one in cannonball or the second one in brastrap (technically bra strap is 2 words but unsurprisingly it was the first word i could think of). It's not MAY-zen with the long "a" in amazing, although my lady readers can continue to call me amazin'. And worst of all, it's not MAH-zen with the "a" in Jamba. For some reason, this pronunciation annoys me to no end.
*By the way, I debated my editor Tall Paul about whether Starbucks actually uses your name when filling your order. I don't think they do, but he insists. Sound off in the comments and settle this master debate.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
A most exquisite pick up line
You have probably heard a good deal of pick up lines and possibly used some of them too. This, I trust, you have never heard in that context.
I was at a bar with a couple of friends this past Saturday (not a very unusual habit I might say). One of my friends was telling me that everyone in this bar is stupid while we were walking around. The following conversation ensued when we bumped into two random girls:
My Friend (to both girls): "Did you go to college?"
[One of the] Girls:"Yes"
MF:" OK, then we can talk to you. Everyone seems to be stupid in here"
G: "Are you stupid?"
MF:"Yes, that's why I came here" [This sentence has been slightly modified because of inappropriate content].
I was, of course, laughing out loud during the whole conversation, until one of the girls flung me a look of great scorn. At that point, I thought my safest bet would be to retreat. My friend and I both left and the conversation ended there. I decided to keep that pick up line on record: "Did you go to college"?
Monday, March 3, 2008
Mazerino the Hero
Have you ever been told you look like someone famous? It can be flattering, I guess, if that person is Colin Ferrell or Mariah Carey, but it's no fun when you get Will Ferrell or Drew Carey.
In high school, our cafeteria chef used to call me Mr. Bean. In college, I got Michael Imperioli (Christopher Moltisanti from Sopranos). Now, at least 10 random strangers have told me I look like Sylar from NBC's Heroes. I personally don't think I look very much like any of them (apart from the prominent brow). Most recently, I was boarding my CTA bus to go home when the driver stopped me and asked, "You ever see that show Heroes? You look like that guy Sylus [sic]." He proceeded to laugh and laugh and shouted "Goodbye Sylus" to me as I left. What do you think? Sound off in the comments.
Just for fun, I've whipped up some simi-lebrity pics for Fadilicious:
And Al Waris:
Do you marginally resemble a pseudo-celebrity? Leave a comment or send a pic to camelsandelephants[at]gmail[dot]com, and we'll include it in a future post.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Art is for all
Dear average heterosexual man,
Yesterday, I went to a ballet show, the last 40 min of which were utterly mesmerizing. Today, I auditioned for a choir. I also went to the gym, and on my way there, I listened to "Somewhere over the rainbow". Mind you, I am straight.
Why are you afraid of going to art events? Agreed, ballet is not the most masculine dance on the planet; I can assure you however that your heart will not start beating for a guy if you go to a ballet show or watch an opera. Art, it turns out, does not change your inclinations. As much as it does not turn gay men into straight ones, it does not transform heterosexuals to homosexuals either.
Art is for all, heteros and homos alike. I hope you will find those insights useful.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Fruitful Friday
I went into the usual Friday night drinking ritual with three main objectives:
1) Almost drop a girl while dancing with her. Check
2) Twirl a waitress a couple of dozen time such that she smiles at me even if I don’t buy a drink. Check
3) Comfort a couple of friends who are heartbroken cause they each lost a girl they never had. Check
All in all a fruitful evening.
PS Inside Joke - During the night I said footpath instead of sidewalk and no one laughed at me. Mazerino was missed.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
