Mixed signals from Facebook

If you're like me, you're a member of the vast Internet community called Facebook. Like most websites, Facebook tries to make money by targeting advertisements to their audience, which seems like a superbly easy thing to do when you know everything about a person from his/her profile. For example, I list my favorite music as the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air" theme song, and my favorite TV Show as Gossip Girl* (a must see: the chemistry between young actors Penn Badgley and Blake Lively is palpable). So, I could theoretically get ads for the Beverly Hills 90210 DVD Box Set (teen soap+early to mid 90's nostalgia). As such, I've been getting mixed signals from my Facebook ads:

1. Stop Browsing Profiles

Ok, maybe this is fair. I do spend a lot of time photolurking and even list it as one of my interests.

2. Meet some Pumas, Cougars and Jaguars

Maybe they've seen my video

3. Dating for losers

Wait, I thought you wanted me to get off the internet?

4. Meet local dudes

Here's where things start to get strange. According to Facebook, I'm an internet savvy female-deprived loser. So, I should probably just go gay.

5. Re-grow your hair

Oh yea, Facebook, now I'm balding? Go ask my hairdresser Marcella and she'll tell you I have the thickest coif she's ever seen.

6. [Ad for Starfruit, a new hipster frozen yogurt place in Bucktown]--I forgot to take a screenshot, and I haven't seen it since :(
I don't care if they are opening a Pinkberry in Chicago or if TCBY is making a comeback. Fro-yo is so 1996.

So, to recap, according to Facebook, I am so desperate from going bald that I'll go for men or women of pretty much any age. And if I ever do end up meeting one or the other, we'll probably go out for frozen yogurt. They got me.

Bonus:

Does handsome count as a disability?

*CW, please sponsor us.